5 Things You Should Consider Before Dating An Introvert

Whether you identify as an introvert, an extrovert, or anywhere in between, everyone can benefit from a little alone time now and then. If you like being alone or find being around large groups of people more draining than average, you might be an introvert. But that doesn’t mean introverts don’t want to date or find love!

Maybe you’re an introvert or you’re dating an introvert or you’re just curious about what it’s like to date one…whatever the case may be, here are some expert-approved tips from therapists and dating pros on things you should know before dating an introvert or dating as one yourself:

1. Should introverts date each other?

An introvert dating an introvert can be a good match, explains Andrew Aaron, LICSW. When two introverts date, they’re more likely to find comfort and understanding from being with someone with similar personality traits and who values and appreciates the same things. However, he adds, like any relationship, two introverts could potentially struggle together if their communication is poor. 

2. Do introverts like affection?

Yes! Please banish any notions of introverts as totally antisocial haters from your head, because it’s not only inaccurate but also harmful. “Introverts enjoy affection as much as any other group of people,” Aaron says. However, if you’ve been in a relationship for a while and you find that you or your partner starts feeling emotionally withholding (or perceived emotionally withholding) due to introversion, you should nip that in the bud with a heart-to-heart chat about it before it becomes a larger issue. 

3. How do introverts open up?

“Introverts open up when they feel safe and also when they know they will be fully listened to,” explains Aaron. If you’re in a relationship with an introvert, make sure you’re providing the safe space and support that will allow your partner to open up. Let them know you’re willing to listen and understand without passing judgment. If you’re an introvert and you want to open up, it’s totally fair game to tell your partner that you want to be more communicative but require more of their attention and support in order to do so. “If an introvert feels he or she has to compete with another for air space, they’d rather stay quiet....Feeling valuable and important are vital conditions that support an introverted person opening up,” says Aaron

4. Are introverts clingy?

Introversion isn’t a sign of clinginess either way, explains Aaron. An introverted person can be clingy or prefer distance, same as any non-introverted person. Generally speaking, people react to internal distress in one of two ways, says Aaron. They either seek closeness to soothe themselves or distance themselves to feel safe. So seeing either emotional reaction from an introverted partner might feel extreme, but remember, that’s just how legit everyone reacts. 

5. Why doesn’t my introverted partner want to hang out with me more?

It probably isn’t a reflection of how they feel about you! Don’t take it personally if an introvert needs time to decompress and be alone. One of the hardest things for partners of introverts to understand is that their partner is probably busy trying to manage their level of stimulation in case they get too overwhelmed and then need a long time to recover from that extra stimulation, explains psychologist Tamar Chansky. It’s generally not something to take personally, and eventually, the introvert will come back around.

Source: Cosmopolitan

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