5 Reasons Couples Come To Counseling

There have been a lot of questions trolling in about Why do couples really need counseling? According to a relationship therapist, there are majority of couples who say they are seeking out counseling. Writing about this topic is something i felt we should take cognizance of before getting to the brisk of losing out in our relationship. There is still a heavy stigma and misunderstanding about counseling in general. I hope this post can clear the air and shake up your assumptions or misconception about counseling.

1. Couples come to Counseling is: “To communicate better”

 It is very important to understand that, communication is a tool which humans can never do without within seconds. Stimuli in the human still communicate. It is not necessary until you open your mouth to talk. We all want to learn how to communicate better, right? Conflict can erupt whenever we feel our partner doesn’t understand or hear us and this can be challenging to every and any twosome at some point of their relationship (regardless of how amazing or strong their relationship is). “Learning to better communicate” is actually more about learning to listen and building self-awareness around why you don’t.

2. Couples come to Counseling is: “To get closer”

With huge population of couples out there who seek out counseling services to help their awesome relationship grow. “Premarital counseling” helps couples who are getting married learn more about each other and prepare for stressors and issues in the future. Several married couples have stated how counseling helped them “get closer”. Alysha; I have been married for 2 years now, and we rarely fight and have difficult conflict. We seek the attention of our relationship therapist once a month to consistently strengthen our foundation so we feel more secure and connected. It’s been the best investment we have ever made.

3. Couples come to Counseling is: “To prioritize their relationship”

Let’s face it, we are SO busy as a society! We rarely have time for ourselves, let alone have the energy to prioritize our relationship sometimes. Date nights often come out of necessity, (i.e. “want to grab dinner?” purely for the fact that we both need to eat, not because we want to connect), and we struggle with coping with our own emotions and stressors from the day that once we see our partner we are ready to just unplug, not reconnect. There’s is nothing wrong with experiencing a rut or a routine that helps you unwind, I may add, but “the problem occurs when you’re so deep in the rut you can’t connect with your partner anymore.”

“Counseling for us is a regular time and place that we both commit to us, which forces us to get out of our regular day-to-day stresses and helps us be accountable to prioritize our relationship every other week.”

4. Couples come to Counseling is: “To talk through uncomfortable topics

Uncomfortable topics may vary from sex to misunderstandings, to differing values, to family dynamics. “Uncomfortable topics” are somewhat easy to avoid initially, but become more and more difficult to shy away from when your lives really start merging into one. “Counseling is a safe, mediated environment that supports both of us when we have difficult things to discuss. It has a way of keeping us from escalating immediately and getting defensive, so we actually get to hear what the other person is trying to say. Counseling has been really helpful in learning to hear my husband and understanding him without jumping to my own conclusions about how he feels or what he thinks.”

5. Couples come to Counseling is: “To repair conflict or learn how to have healthy conflict.”

Yes! Couples obviously come to counseling because something really unfortunate happened and they can’t seem to “get over it,” or there has been a reoccurring conflict that they both are feeling stuck in. Conflict is a part of a healthy relationship and we don’t always have the tools on how to effectively resolve it. “We kept having the same argument over and over again about petty things and we finally sought out counseling to help us figure out why and how to solve it. We were exhausted and feeling like we were barely holding on. We didn’t want to hate each other (even though at times we were getting pretty close).

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