Tmicheals Blog ›› 11 Guys Confess the Most Important Thing A Woman Taught Them in Bed

"The female orgasm is really shocking to me."
1. “Where the vagina is… I meant that as a joke, but now that I think about it, it’s true.” — Devin, 27

2. “Hopefully you learned everything from women? Or at least built on the advice of women. Unless you’re not into women, which is cool.” — Marc, 29

3. “One thing my girlfriend has taught me in bed is that I snore when I sleep on my back.” — Alex, 26

4. “I've learned it's better to open up the conversation and be up front about wants, needs, and no-nos when starting to have sex with someone. And to listen to theirs too instead of just having really boring sex for a while, and then slowly branching out or just trying something in the moment and potentially having it be met negatively.” — Jake, 28

5. “I learned the rhythm of sex. I’m not sure how else to describe that concept. But sex has a rhythm to it and it’s not something you can learn from masturbating or watching porn or… reading sex advice. I think it’s the same kind of thing where like, you could watch golf on TV for hundreds of hours, but it’s not going to help your swing, not really. There are a lot of subtleties you just can’t learn without having sex.” — Brian, 27

6. “‘It’s a marathon, not a sprint.’ That’s easily the most important thing I've learned from a woman. Not that going fast and hard is bad, necessarily, but that giving it 100 percent porn star-jackhammer-style for five minutes isn’t the way to do it.” — Aaron, 28

7. “The female orgasm is really shocking to me. Like, guys spend a few years learning how to crank it and it’s just… easy. The female orgasm seems vastly more complicated, and coming to terms with the idea that you can’t force it was very important for a woman to explain to me.” — Jesse, 25

8. “The most important thing I learned from a partner… early on in my sex life, mind you… was the importance of foreplay, and that it can be just as good or even better than sex.” — Pete, 28

9. “This is embarrassing, but the importance of safe sex. I mean, maybe ‘embarrassing’ isn’t the right word. But when you’re young, I think a lot of people don’t think about the seriousness of STIs. Maybe because in high school and college and whenever you’re sexually active, so many people are still virgins or inexperienced. And I think there’s this unspoken idea that you really can’t get something unless you’re sleeping around a ton (or sleep with someone who is sleeping around). And that’s obviously very untrue. And that’s not even talking about pregnancy, or considering methods like ‘pulling out’ that get spread around but aren’t safe. My first serious girlfriend, the one I lost my virginity to, was religious about safe sex. She made sure we always had a condom no matter what. She really drilled that into my head and it’s a habit I picked up. And it’s pretty much saved my life at least once.” —Greg, 28

10. “Beyond like, all the obvious stuff? One of the first women I was with had a hard time [orgasming] and had a very specific method to get herself off. I don’t even know that I can fully explain it without a demonstration, honestly. But it’s a move I’ve taken with me into other relationships and it’s proven very popular. If I ever see her again, I’m going to take her out to a very expensive dinner.” — Evan, 29

11. “Not being afraid to take charge. That was a big one. It’s not so much that I was afraid to take charge. I just assumed no women would be into that; I thought I was being polite. But this one woman was (and I know it’s a stereotype) this, like, quiet, polite librarian-type. And then in bed she really wanted me to do crazy stuff. It opened my eyes a lot. People want all different things.” — Jim, 27

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